Why tough love works

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My brother and I are eight years apart in age, and my mother swears that in those eight years this shift has been monumental. For example, my eighth grade award ceremony lasted an hour and a half, with the top five students being recognized. Having consequences can change behavior, but this is an extreme example that can have long-lasting negative repercussions. While tough love may appear to be effective in the short-term, it can actually worsen the condition and lead to dangerous relapses later on.

Tough love can refer to a positive approach to parenting in which the child learns valuable lessons in a way that is supportive and preserves the dignity of the child. While tough love can sometimes force people with substance and alcohol use disorders into treatment, research suggests that more empathetic, voluntary approaches are more effective. The program utilizes behavioral principles to reduce substance use, encourage treatment, and reduce the stress felt by the individual's loved ones.

Research also suggests that compulsory drug treatment may not improve outcomes. In particular, tough love has been derided as a dangerous technique in handling teens or adults struggling with addictions, such as those who engage in substance abuse.

Some treatment centers use the term tough love to refer to a harsh approach that breaks down the will of the person. Tough love can have its place in addiction treatment, but it should not be engaged in without input from a physician or therapist. If you have a child or loved one struggling with addiction, seek out an addiction therapist for a consultation on how you can help your loved one. Your therapist can advise you on the best approaches and boundaries to help your child recover in a sustainable way.

Rather than focusing on simply using a "tough love" approach to dealing with a loved one who has an addiction, learning how to establish healthy boundaries can be more effective.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Developing community reinforcement and family training CRAFT for parents of treatment-resistant adolescents. J Child Adolesc Subst Abuse. No relationship is perfect, but what makes it worth it is when both the partners work on it. Understanding what is promoting a healthy growth to your relationship and what is making it worse is important. View All. Anagha Bhave 1. Incapable Of Learning Many times, the practice of tough love reveals that a person uses it because they assume their partner is incapable of learning by showing soft love or affection.

Make Love Seem Conditional In a healthy relationship, love should come across as unconditional. Increase Stress Apart from the shame, guilt, and humiliation, tough love can also increase stress for the person receiving it.

Poor Empathy Most importantly, excessive tough love showcases poor empathy!