What if jokes for kids

A cornfield. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells! What did the microwave say to the other microwave? Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here? Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake! When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot! Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour. You rocket! When the punchline is a parent.

How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall. What did the limestone say to the geologist? A wise quacker. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull. What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree! Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam. What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn? What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis! How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear. Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her!

How do you talk to a giant? Use big words! What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? His ghoul-friend. What building in New York has the most stories?

The public library! What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves! How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut! What do you call two birds in love? How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints! How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night! How can you tell a vampire has a cold? She starts coffin. Finding half a worm. What is a computer's favorite snack? Computer chips!! They do, just not in public.

What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon. What did the banana say to the dog? What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience. A stick. What do you think of that new diner on the moon? Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because she will let it go.

How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles! How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. What's green and can fly? Super Pickle! Knock knock. Interrupting pirate. Interrupting pir — yarrrrrr! What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me! What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.

Where do vampires keep their money? A blood bank. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. Where do pencils go on vacation? Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel. Why did the banana go to the doctor? What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world? A stamp. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque. What do you call a funny mountain? Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud! There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. The Drummond family never shies away from the latter, especially if it involves a fake snake if you know, you know!

In the spirit of silliness, we've rounded up the best jokes for kids, perfect for making your little ones giggle any time they need it. Throw these out there when they're feeling blue, or hide one in their lunchbox to surprise them at school. Either way, these puns and riddles for kids are sure to get a laugh. If you and your family spend your time watching funny movies for kids or coming up with hilarious knock-knock jokes together, then this is the place for you.

Challenge your children to see if they know where polar bears keep their money the snow bank! Heck, it'll be impossible to keep a smile from your face after you read a few of these knee-slappers. And to keep the good times going, why not read a few happy quotes to start your morning off right? They'll brighten anyone's day! Ree's Life. Food and Cooking. The Pioneer Woman Products. Type keyword s to search. The Pioneer Woman. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?

What has ears but cannot hear? A watch dog! Q: What did one hat say to the other? Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside! Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow! Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright! Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?

Q: Why do strings never win a race? Because they always tie! Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant! Because she was a little horse! Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy! A mushroom! Q: How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card!

Q: What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me! Q: How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it! Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly! Q: What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs! Q: Which hand is better to write with? Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck? Q: What did the frog order for lunch? A burger and a diet croak! Q: Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed! A walk. Q: Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Q: What do cows order from?

Q: What kind of haircuts do bees get? Q: How can you tell if someone is a good farmer? He is outstanding in his field! Q: What do you call a man with a shovel? Q: How do mountains stay warm in winter? Because then it would be a foot! A corn field. Q: What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor! Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experiments! Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? Q: Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels. An elephant in a washing machine! Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Ready to print this collection of jokes? Click the link below. The file will open, and you can print from there. Q what's the difference between a piano and a fish?

A you can tune a piano but you can't tunafish. What did Justine bieber say to the bever? If I were your boyfriend I'd never let you go! My son's favorite joke: Knock, knock? Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting co-- MOO!! Where do the engines go to sleep? Knapford Station! My eight year old made up a great one while we were working on his dinosaur project. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the P is silent! Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got wiped out Sorry, my crazy kids My 7 year old thought this one up when she was in Kindergarten: Where do baby cows eat? In the calf-ateria. Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana again? I'm outstanding. I'm outstanding who? I'm outstanding in the rain! Plz let me in! My son is into Knock knock jokes right now.

His favorite made up is; Knock knock, Who's their? Banana Who? Banana I love you. He's fully recovered! Yuk yuk Jodi Picoult, author extraordinaire, jokes from "Lone Wolf". You're kidding me,right? Even adults can get a yuk outta these. Here's to the humor in everything! Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He's always afraid he's following someone.

We have to take ourselves far less seriously sometimes, and laugh at ourselves! What did the puppy say when he sat on sandpaper.? Ruff Ruff. How many elephants can fit in a Volkswagen? A set of footprints in the butter How do you know there are 2 elephants in your refrigerator? Their Volkswagen is parked out front. It's my daughter's favourite xx. I put a joke in my daughters lunch everyday and the whole lunch room enjoys them thanks for the great jokes.

Every day my 6th graders ask for a joke. Thank goodness I found your web site. Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who Isabelle necessary on a bike. Answer: Koality stuff. What do you call a dinosaur with bananas in his ears? What ever you want he can't hear you!!! What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Teacher: how many letters are in the alphabet?

Student Teacher: no, 26 Student: no, E. Took off in a U. And the C. Went after him! I like all the jokes because it hilarious. Name more please. You the best at making Jokes just don't cuss. Because if it say bed word people won't want to talk to me.

We're did you got the Jokes from? I must say that this is a very impressive collection of jokes for kids and children can easily understand them too. Wow I love these! There were funny although some took me a while to understand them but whatever! You guys website made me laugh and my family! I knew this would be a good website as I heard may good things about you guys! Wish you the best for the feature! What is the difference between a school teacher and a train. The school teacher says spit out the gum and the train says chew chew.

Do you know , or What's the difference between an Elephant and a Loaf of Bread? I don't know. I guess I can't sent you to the store! My sisters love this joke Q Earth slipped on some milk he wondered were did it come from? A The milky way! Q: How do you get down off an elephant?

You are on a horse with a lion behind you and a giraffe in front of you. How do you escape this situation? The answer is to jump of the carousel!

You put it in the oven!.. My 5 year old is kinda dark. But it was really funny when he first said this. Q Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A Because then it would be a foot. Q Where do you find a cow with no legs?

A Right where you left it. Q Why was the white car white? A Because they didn't paint it black. Q If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do elves get?

A They get Mistle-toes. Why was cinderella not able to play soccer? Because she kept running away from the ball. Get it,as in 'ball'. Telling silly jokes is such a childhood rite of passage.

My kids love jokes!